Bitter Chamomile
by Lula.Deerheart
Summary: An origin story for Thea Amariyo, a Keeper of the Moon miqo'te trying to fulfil her desire to become a botanist. Rebelling against wealthy, ambitious parents Thea strains to balance being a dutiful daughter while spending time in the forest, around the plants and animals she loves. Can she put aside her own desires for those of her family?
1. Chapter 1

The bright morning sunshine poured through glass windows, leaving wave-like patterns on Lady Althea Amariyo's sleeping form. She sighed in her sleep and wriggled towards the cool edge of the bed, trying to escape from the ripples of warmth. Unable to find respite from the heat, she groaned and opened her eyes groggily. Still flopping around on the rich silk bedclothes, she yawned and performed a lax, feline stretch.

"Good morning Lady Thea," the maidservant in the corner of the room sprang into action, upon seeing her sleeping mistress rise from her opulent bed, "can I prepare you some breakfast? Or perhaps you'd like to dress and eat with your family today?"

Thea sighed and rolled her eyes petulantly, "Tibeh, do you really need to just stand over me while I sleep? It's strange, being watched by someone while you're so vulnerable."

"Well…" the Keeper maidservant stuttered, "you… you know I do Lady Thea. I've done this ever since you were a small girl. It's my job to serve you. To keep you safe." The elderly Miqo'te smiled dotingly.

"I'm sorry Tibs. I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," she grinned sheepishly, "I'll dress myself. But perhaps you could brew me some mulled tea for breakfast?"

"Yes Lady." Tibeh retreated from the room, bustling downstairs to the manor kitchen to join the rest of the household staff.

"Yes Lady…." Thea murmured to herself, "Why can't she just call me Thea?"

Thea wandered lazily to the basin and mirror in the corner of her room, stepping carefully to avoid the seedlings she had planted and placed beside her bed to take full advantage of the steady shafts of sunlight that poured into her room. The stained windows scattering a confetti of colours across the green stems. She splashed cool water over her face, and sat in front of the mirror regarding herself.

Her caramel-coloured hair spilled in messy tangles down her shoulders, her pale ocean eyes still crusted with sleep. "I don't look much like a Lady," she chuckled softly to herself.

The statement wasn't particularly correct – despite her untidy appearance, Thea had the gentle curves and clear, unblemished skin that spoke of wealth. She had a natural beauty, all softness and glow. It was only her awkward demeanour and clear discomfort that hinted at her family's once humble beginnings.

The family Amariyo had not always been a wealthy one, however her parents were ambitious and skilled in combat. They won their titles in battle and raised the Amariyo name to nobility, taking over their defeated Hyur rival's homestead and traditions. Thea had been born into a life of comfort and wealth, forever pushed forward by her class-obsessed parents desperate for their only daughter to be raised as a true Lady, so she may make a good marriage.

However the young miqo'te had no wish to be married – she found the rules and rituals of upper-class living dull and restrictive. Disappointed that her family only saw worth in sweet, gentle behaviour and ladylike beauty, Thea found solace in the forest. She delighted in strolling the sun-streaked paths, dipping her feet into the cool, bubbling streams and learning the myths and lores of the Shroud.

Combing the tangles from her hair, Thea swept the silky strands into a ponytail and moved towards her wardrobe. Pushing aside the sumptuous silks, satin and velvet gowns her mother had placed there, she pulled out a simple black t-shirt and shorts with another loud sigh.

"When will she learn? I wouldn't be seen dead in these… these… fancy cages."

Thea dressed quickly, adding a pair of leather thigh holsters to her simple outfit. She slipped a small knife with a pearl handle and a pair of shears into the holster and shouldered a small bag filled with twine, small hessian pouches, a leather-bound journal and a vial of water. Thundering down the stairs she flew out of the grand front door, hoping to not be detected.

"Lady Thea…your tea?" Tibeh spluttered, as the girl whooshed past her and out of the door, "not again…."

—●O●—-

In the heart of the Central Shroud, Thea crouched by a narrow stream, her eyes trained upon a small outcrop of rocks scattered with small yellow and white flowers.

"Chamomile, perfect for fevers, aches and sores," she said thoughtfully as she edged towards them. "Marjoram too…or perhaps cow bitters…"

She sat heavily on the rock and pulled the journal from her satchel. She flicked through the well-worn pages holding up a leaf of the unidentified plant. The pages of the journal were covered in fine, scrawling script and rough sketches – an amateur field journal of botanical discovery.

"Mm, I knew it! Marjoram. Perfect for curing silence!" She exclaimed in delight, clearly full of pleasure at the growth of her botanical knowledge. Trapping the leaf between the pages of the journal, she pushed in back into her bag and stretched out along the rock. She purred in pleasure at the feeling of the sun kissing her skin and the breeze ruffling her hair. She was never happier than whilst in the calm, embrace of the forest. She lay on the rock, listening to the soft patter of the residents of the forest, the vanilla-scent of the chamomile in her nose.

She daydreamed, her eyes sleepily fixed on the ancient canopy of leaves above her, "perhaps today will be the day. I just… I just need to ask them. To tell them this is my wish. For all their faults, they do love me. They want me to be happy… don't they?"

She raised a hand to her mouth, slipping off the mud-stained glove and putting her finger into her mouth to chew nervously. Always a shy, awkward girl Thea found comfort in small gestures carried over from her childhood. The twisting of hair around her fingers, the nibbling of smooth, soft fingers.

"I'll do it. I'll ask them. If I show them my journal… they'll know… they'll see this is my heart's desire. They will let me. They must…" She sat up, letting the words trail into the wind.

—●O●—-

"The answer is no Thea," her father slammed his fist down on the table, setting the silver goblets and plates wobbling perilously close to the edge. Tibeh let out a surprised squeak and rushed to try and save the silverware.

"But Father… Mother…," she pleaded, "It's all I've ever wanted. Please, if I could just show you…". She pulled the field journal from her satchel, spraying mud and blades of grass onto the dinner table, "if you could just look…"

"Thea." Her mother sighed loudly, sweeping the mess from the table. "We worked so hard to provide for you. To give you a life where you had no worries. Why would you want to work? Haven't we raised you well? Do we not give you everything we never had as children?"

Lady Amariyo frowned in displeasure, her hands instinctively reached to twist in her lap against the rich satin of her skirt. She glanced at her husband to see a similar look of distaste in his eyes.

"It's out of the question." Her father said simply, "You will remain here, to be wed to a gentleman suitable to your… stature in life."

He leant back in his chair, "we've tolerated this little… hobby of yours for long enough. Tibeh?" He summoned the aged little miqo'te, "Tibeh, you're to increase Lady Thea's lessons. She clearly has a lot of time on her hands, see you fill it for her." He turned back to his daughter, "We're doing this for you my darling, don't you see?"

Tibeh's face filled with sadness, but she didn't dare disagree with her employer. She nodded sorrowfully, "Yes M'Lord."

Thea felt her eyes sting with tears, heartbroken over her failed request and the loss of her only passion. She knew it was useless to argue with her parents anymore, their faces set with grim determination. She rose from the table and dipped a low curtsey, "Thank you, please may I be excused?"

Her father nodded. "Please retire to your room and put on more suitable attire for supper, Thea. A Lady shouldn't be seen muddied and dressed like a street beggar."

—●O●—-

In the sanctuary of her room, Tibeh reached forward to stroke Thea's hair. She felt the girl flinch at the touch, and then relax into the gentle petting.

"Please don't cry Lady Thea, your parents are only doing it to protect you. The world is a dangerous place, and the life of a botanist isn't a safe one. Out in the woods with fiends of all shapes and sizes. I know the Guild may seem safe… but… I'm sure they're doing it for your own safety."

Thea lay prone on the bed, her face buried in the rich, tear-soaked pillows.

"Please Tibeh, please leave me."


	2. Chapter 2

The morning mist rolled through the forest, dusting the tops of the trees and rising like steam from the damp grass. Fireflies floated through the air like sparks, their lights dull in the thick foggy dawn.

Thea peered out of the window, her soft breathing sounded like a roar in the stillness of the morning. She felt the mist leave a damp sheen on her face and pulled back to turn to the sleeping form of Tibeh in the corner of the room. The small elderly miqo'te's blanket rose and fell in the gentle rhythm of her slumber.

Thea let out a relieved murmur as she pushed the window open more fully, enough to slip a booted foot out to rest upon the mossy roof. While the surface she met was green and slick, she was well-practiced enough to retain her footing as she swung to push her whole body out of the window and land with a catlike grace on the roof. She stayed in her landing crouch, her hands and feet pressed so hard into the soft moss that she felt they might take root. But still she waited, ensuring the small thump of her landing hadn't been heard.

Her skin prickled with goosebumps, morning dew forming little pearls over her body. She crawled with ease to the edge of the roof, backing slowly down until the lower half of her body dangled towards the ground. Finally easing her way further down, she released her hands landing in the wet grass with little more than a whisper of noise.

Moving towards the stack of firewood to the back of the house, Thea rooted around in the pile before pulling out her satchel. As usual it was loaded up with her leather journal and various sample pots and sachets. She fished out her pearl-handled knife and a small pair of brass shears and slipped them into her thigh holsters, before brushing her hands down her body to spray a fine mist of dew into the grass. Shouldering her satchel she slipped away from the house and into the cool, dark embrace of the Shroud.

While Thea generally obeyed her parents, their orders tearing her from the forest had broken her heart. She knew she could never be long from the airy melody of the wind in the leaves, or the lazy wet splash of the rivers. Without the smell of lilac, meadowsweet and bark in her nose, she would never be truly happy.

—●O●—-

Her dawn forays into the heart of the forest had begun some weeks back, following her father's stoic refusal of her wish to join the Botanist Guild in the nearby city-state of Gridania. She had tried to obey him, giving her mother a week or two of girlish pleasure as her daughter, decked in silk, taffeta and velvet, had spent her time in the family home. Nose-deep in a book in the library, hours languishing in the hot steam of the bath, or daydreaming by the gentle glow of the stained glass windows. But the forest called to her, the soft echo evolving into a roar. Every day that passed without feeling the cool breeze in her hair, or the caress of the grass under her naked feet, felt like agony.

And so it was, she spent her nights in a fitful sleep. Though buried under soft, warm blankets and bathed in the gentle moonglow, she could not settle. She waited only for the chance to leave the confines of her home and once again feel at peace.

The first time she had scuttered down the stairs, pausing at a small altar dedicated to Nophia to pray guiltily for forgiveness, before easing open the large front door and out into the embrace of the night.

Nowadays she was much more well-practiced, feeling only the small stab of guilt as her eyes glided over to her gentle maidservant Tibeh. She knew the woman would be punished harshly by her father should news of her dawn-lit forays into the forest ever reach him. Her heart ached that every day she risked the safety of the woman she loved more than anything, but she could not be torn from the forest.

—●O●—-

In the cool blue-green light of the dawn, Thea padded through well-worn paths, her heart filled with a joyous freedom. She paused to let the soft, powdery scent of lilacs float around her and felt a bubbling laugh rise within her. She truly only ever felt peace while surrounded by the Shroud. She laid in the long grass, feeling it tremble and shake in the breeze, and imagined her bones sinking into the earth. Melting and joining with the ancient forest floor.

As she saw the first glimmer of sun lighting the soupy turquoise sky, she pulled herself up and settled on a rocky perch beside the soothing trickle of a stream. She tilted her head back and let the feeling wash over her, the cool water splashing her bare skin, the weak warmth of the sun glowing in her hair, and an utter peace soaking through her.

After a minute's respite she pulled herself to her feet, and ran through the forest homewards. Her blonde hair streaming and glinting behind her, her chest heaving as she inhaled the smooth forest. Arriving back at the large house, she clambered up the slippery green walls and roof. Prying open the window and pouring herself through it. Slinking back into bed, as the first fingers of morning creeped along the wooden floor, she curled her moss-stained feet under the blankets and smiled in pleasure as she felt sleep pull her in.


End file.
